in this sad moment the angle appear again

my view is changing...here everything depens on the rational world of combination...as a woman it is useful to look pretty and to light power and competence in order to archieve listening ears...i was trying hard to keep my inner calm in not overfloating the world with monetary issues ...i feel failing in all my inner principles...as i know from myself i am strong...i could move along the lines of social constrains but i wanted to support my love while being calm and helpful ... in the end everybody needs to go its own way...this is what makes me feel very sad...even the younger generation is going this individual selfish way of surviving...some of our principles have changed...as society is forming our daily impacts of well being... i am sad because i need someone to hold me tight...someone that is giving me the feeling of being save and doing the right...someone that smiles back when i am feeling like killing someone...music is my life and the only thing i could create at that time is singing while cleaning the bathroom...wow this is a nice bathroom...yes i painted it green on monday and now it looks like a boot to ship away in a french style...so something like a french revolution of time...time is our set limitation...time and space of course... as i would imagine the world without time and space...everthing would be calm and colourful and peaceful and exiting and wonderful and ...kissing ...i love kissing and the one i am kissing is probably not my prince although it sometimes feels like him ...kissing is the beginning of emotional delight...mmmmhh....a challenge of turning around without been seen...oh how wonderful would be the world of Fairness and environmenal responsability if i would be challenged in kissing...then i could imaging falling in love with my words i need to write for society...ohh how wonderful would it be to dance to the rythm of the bongos in the forest of origin...i am such a dreamer...an endless dreamer to call out for all my greater highs...like the reader from the endless story...we are the reader of our endless stories...hidden within ourselfs the body part of our stomach...there is someone listening and responding to what you're thinking...ohhh...balance your yin yang and you`ll see... ohh all these wise words ...are they all for nothing or maybe for some revolutionary picture? dancing in the moonlight everybody...i love to dance..i love to turn and feel the beat of my heart...oh wonderful life...you have so many surprises hidden but where is the challenge...i am not good in killing time...rather i would like to show how wonderful every little brake can be...and now that i had a giant brake (3 or 4 weeks now) i need to go swimming again...i love to swim in the worlds ocean but not in the vision of reality.. i dislike to adabt and i like to see my ego standing in the end of the cube...ohh how wonderful it would be to sing the song of freedom for people who came to listen...is there anybody listening...it would be a relieve to know if somebody appreciates what i am doing...although it is nothing in particular...oh writer of the story could you please make something happen to wonder again...it is soo quiete now that i must think you fell asleep...if this is the case i wish you nice dreams to share with me...if not than speak to me...ohh what a wonderful world...this is soo strange i feel like knowing it all and being happy having found that light and then i feel sooo fucking sad at the same time...it is like a buttom you push...happy...o.k....or being by yourself....ohh how great this sounds having time to communicate with my freinds from all over world...once i saw a french girl within my face, then this indian person who show up when i am speaking english and then this huge snake...a head bigger than mine...sliding along a tree branch...well i could have been afraid if i would not have had a lot of fanatsy in creating a happy end...maybe this is the reason i am sad and borred...there is no happy end...where are all my fucking fears...to push away...oh litlle angle above me... are these really my problems, then i need to laugh... you are crazy *the angle is speaking* well, yes i guess i am crazy complaing about fears that do not exist anymore...get yourselfs a fast riding something and challenge what your are missing...thank you my angle... you came back talking to me...can i laugh again.........pause......